When the people closest to us reveal themselves to be ignorant, weak, sneaky and opportunistic, dishonest and inauthentic…and when their being so hurts us, deeply and irreversibly, and yet still…they appear to “get away with it…,”many of us have a visceral reaction that “it’s not fair!” We could spit nails wanting them to get their just deserts. We could lose sleep dreaming up all the ways we hope Karma bites them in the ass.
But…I’m reminded this Holy Week, that Jesus never once implies that the Kingdom is “fair” as we believe “fair” to be.
Having loved his own…he loved them to the end.
What does being loved to the end look like?
For Jesus, it meant loving them all to the end.
It means allowing events to unfold as they needed to so that on the other side of the bigger picture, everything would make more complete sense.
It meant that even though Jesus knew who was to betray Him, He didn’t intercede to prevent it. He let Judas betray Him. He left room for Judas to be who Judas is.
It meant that while some of us would have the inclination to withhold our love from, or exclude Judas, Jesus included Judas in the “last” Supper. Included him in the final gathering of the disciples.
He washed Judas’ feet…cleansed him…served him, just as He did the other disciples. It meant His love was not conditional.
And if we want to believe that Judas “got away with it,” consider, that it means Jesus allowed Judas to hear Him admit He knew it was him who betrayed Him. And Jesus didn’t sell out Judas to the disciples. Doesn’t reveal he is the betrayer.
For Judas, it meant not only coming face to face with the one he has sold out, but being served and washed by him, sharing in bread and wine he was offered. I can almost envision this scene in which Jesus looks at Judas over the bowl of water, while gently drying his feet, or while passing him the cup of wine…with a look that says: We’re not gonna do this little dance here right now. But…I know. And now you know that I know. And you will have to live with that, my friend. But you do what you need to do.
It meant still being loved by the person he couldn’t bring himself to show the same love to. Which makes we wonder about the weight of the burden Judas carries after this night. Incapable of making a different choice, despite that love. It makes me wonder at how broken Judas’ spirit, his heart, or his mind must have been.
For Simon Peter, being loved to the end means being too uncomfortable with the role reversal of servant and master. Of being incapable of the humility it requires to be served by one you admire and hold reverently; from whom you feel unworthy to receive such displays of degrading affection.
It means that upon being told this is the only way…you must be washed or you have no share with me…also being so bold as to ask for more!
It means still being accepted at the foot of the cross, despite his impending denial.
Being loved to the end isn’t about “fair” or “just deserts.” It means Jesus’ love is offered freely, unconditionally—despite ignorance, weakness, sneakiness and stolen opportunity, dishonesty and inauthenticity—to each of the disciples—betrayer and doubter and denier alike. Each is seen and known for who they are and what they’re capable of—the good, the bad, and the ugly of it. And still…they were washed…each they had a share with Him.
This is the love the disciples witnessed tonight. These are the circumstances under which they are each given the final commandment: to love as Jesus has loved them.
Love is being able to know someone’s true character, name it, and allow them to be who they are … who we might argue, they were always called to be. And to let that person walk away—not trying to change their mind, not shaming them publicly. Just acknowledging, accepting, and moving forward. Setting an example through them to those around you.
This is what we bear witness to tonight night.
So, love until the end my friends. And if you cannot mirror that same love unconditionally yet, trust that same love is offered to you, until the very end. And allow it to transform you forever.